The other day, I was out to dinner with my wife. I was trying to explain the difference from her perspective to mine on some issue and I said that she's too results oriented while I am EV oriented. I chuckled to myself, as I have introduced many other poker euphemisms and sayings from my time in poker.
Then I saw someone predict the Mexico-Uruguay World Cup match by saying..."I wonder if in the third group stage match, if Mexico and Uruguay will check it down?"
I was inspired to do some research and share some other humorous and serious answers to "You know you play too much poker when..."
You buy something at the store and you think of it in terms of how many big blinds/bets it's going to cost you.
You are playing too much poker when the word two has been replaced in your vocabulary by the word duece.
When your buddy calls and asks you if you want to head to the bar tonight and you tell him "you're all in"
When the kids hope you get knocked out soon, so you will cook dinner!
When you pass up sex with your girlfriend because you're the chip leader in a $10 MTT.
You ask the bouncer what the "buy-in" is when you go to a club.
When someone asks you a question and u ask for a time bank.
When you're looking for a pair of socks and you think to yourself that any 2 suited will do.
When everything in your life is a level.
When your monitors are bigger than your tv.
When you sit there and narrate your play like you're making your own video.
When you constantly say you run bad when things aren't going your way or blame it on variance.
When you prove to your friends u CAN count to 20 with no problems... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 jack...
You've taken your laptop into the John so you don't have to sit out any hands.
When you use "everything is fishy", "everyone is nitty", "that's sick", that "puts me on tilt", that's "standard", "he's a donkey", or "such a donk", "ship it, luckbox!"
When you avoid shopping for certain household items or gifts, because you want to "win" them for "free" in the full tilt store.
When you don't laugh anymore, you just say LOL or when you say "ty" after somebody holds the door open for you at the store.
When all bottles are full.
When you can't remember the last time you went to a dinner and when the bill arrived you weren't sweating a nice game of credit card roulette.
When you can't enjoy watching sports as much as you used to because it's just variance.
When your bankroll is bigger than your checking account.
When you can get everything else you need to get done for the day accomplished during 5 minute tournament breaks.
When you yell real loud to the pizza guy "the door is open and the money is on the counter."
Feel free to add your own in the comments....Have a nice weekend.